Study of sky over sunflower field

"Study of sky over sunflower field" by Hilary J England
oil on canvas, 8" x 10"

Here is a quick oil study of the sky over a local sunflower field.  I have been somewhat stuck lately, trying to conserve my energy for my upcoming residency.  It is daunting to me now rather than exhilarating as it would have been in the past, and now I am merely looking to get through it successfully at this stage of things.

I hope things do go smoothly, as I can't take any more drama or bullshit, to be blunt.  If this wasn't such a necessary travel, I wouldn't even go, but I must, or it will be a big, big setback for me, and I have had too many of those in the last year or so, and I can't afford that, so off I go, being dragged like a mule up a hill it doesn't want to traverse, haha.  I think once I'm there, the mental stimulation will invigorate me and I will ultimately be thankful I chose progress over inertia....There is nothing worse to me than feeling as if you are going no where, or the world is passing you by, and that's how I have felt over this last year, with all of the tragedies we have endured, now it's time to break this pattern, and MOVE ON...not in a physical way, but in a mental and spiritual way.  So, that is my hope for this residency...it will break away these mental shackles that have formed through these horrible events...and give me a clear and present vision.

Stonehedge Gardens

"Stonehedge on a hazy Spring day" by Hilary J England
8" x 10" oil on canvas, 2014

I have been having terrible struggles lately, and I am forced to retreat.  My health has been causing me great issue, and with that, I am very depressed.  I try to find the positive in all things, but this has been a truly devastating experience, one that has been probably one of the great struggles of my life, again.  It feels like a replay of 2004...and that sickens me.

It seems like the cosmos align to deal you the entire picnic basket at once, rather than one ham sandwich at a time, at least in my case.  But, there is a positive to that as well, hopefully, once and done, and things will only improve from here, at least that's the hope I cling to.  My eyes have been giving me a lot of problems as well, but according to the doctor, the blurring might well be from severe allergies this season, and that is somewhat of a relief...as my eyes improve a little bit, that has given me great cause to celebrate.  After all, I can't do much painting if I can't see very well, and that was intensely troubling as well.

So, here is a little painting of my local favorite spot, again.  Enjoy :-)

After Church

"After Church" by Hilary J. England
60" x 48" x 2", oil on canvas, 2014

Close up, "After Church"

Close up, "After Church"

It was a monumental labor of love, but I finally finished the artwork.  I've called it "After Church."  My beautiful little darlings, in their dresses during the high key bright sunlit Spring Easter afternooon.  It was a wonderful day, full of love and friends, when things were still so very good.  Things are good now, just different.  Transition is always a difficult thing, and this is no exception, so I focus on the beauty that is in this life, and it's gifts, and that's what I was thinking of when I was painting this beautiful day.

Now, onto another painting in the series....these paintings are very difficult for me.  My attention span is not what it once was, and I get frustrated more easily, and working on large works requires alot of time, focus, energy and commitment, and I seem to lack all of the above these days, but I'm trying to discipline myself back into focus.  I had a hell of a year in every aspect: physically, emotionally, spiritually, even financially, and that drained me to the bottom of my reserves...now I just keep trying to forge forward.  The Romanian residency will be here in just about a month, so now is time to gather steam rather than lose it.

So, here is the second in my new series, "Transitions."  Enjoy~