Acceptance

"Boundaries" by Hilary J. England
oil on canvas, 8" x 11" x 1", 2013

Mark is in the hospital with a fever of unknown origin, or neutropenic fever.  He is in isolation, but he seems to not know it too much yesterday, as the fever had knocked him out, and the dehydration from the vomiting as well.

He slept most of Memorial Day away at home before he got admitted, as I clumsily tried to do all of the yardwork, including heavy work, which resulted in my cutting off the tip of my left middle finger with an electric hedgecutter.  Not fun.  I had to go for a tetanus shot yesterday because of it, but the doctor said my field dressing was very good, so despite the fact the wound could have used some stitching, I had done a good enough job cleaning and binding it that he would skip that.  So, not so bad after all.

The bank is trying to perpetrate some predatory lending practices on us as well.  Our original mortgage company sold our loan to Wells Fargo, and now Wells Fargo is saying that our flood insurance is insufficient, and wants to charge us another $200 per month on our mortgage, stating they don't care what the FEMA guidelines are, they make their own guidelines.  I argued that they bought the loan with terms in place, and they cannot force new terms on us, and FEMA stated that our flood insurance is more than sufficient.  Now, we go into the litigation process about this, which I am going to insist that Wells Fargo pay for as well.  My point is this:  if they want additional insurance, they can pay for it.  Our mortgage is completely covered by our insurance--what does Wells Fargo care if we rebuild or not, as long as they get their money?  If they want rebuild insurance on the home for a flood, they can pay for it.  Right now, the insurance covers the outstanding amount of the loan plus clean up should a tsunami strike Pennsylvania, so I am not even going down this road with these people.  They bought the loan, but there are terms in the contract, and they can't just "rewrite" a contract without our consent.

So, I am trying to learn to accept the things I can change, what I cannot, and just be as happy as I can be.  The stress has been overwhelming, and the only thing that is bringing me any moments of peace is doing little paintings as I can.  This painting actually took a little over an hour, on the way back from the hospital.  I was able to sit and breath, late afternoon, it had stopped raining and the sun just peaked out over the mountains, no farmers threatening to shoot me for sitting on the edge of their land, LOL.  Enjoy!