Head full of cotton

Day five without a cigarette...doing ok--I haven't really missed them too badly until I take my afternoon lunch break while I'm painting...then it does get pretty bad. I start feeling fidgety and crappy and long for a cigarette, but I know it'll lessen in time.

I've been working on several projects at the same time, and trying to juggle the finishing touches on the bedrooms for AAA--getting into their travel guide will be a big bonus, so I'm trying to get the rooms completed.

I'm working on painting number four in the Seashore series; I may only do one more instead of three, since the "fog" theme is starting to bring me down, and I'm yearning to do some light-hearted, sun-filled landscapes...not to mention start working on a few portraits. I'm also going to do a formal figure study in Conte...I just have an urge to. Must be the gorgeous Ingres paper that just arrived!

Anyway, thunder storms today...I spent late yesterday afternoon lolling about at the Bungalow...just floating in the pool, staring at the sky...needed a day like that! Tomorrow, I'll have to go purchase some more curtain rods, hit the gym, get a yoga session in, and finish up the painting...start a pastel as well...going to try to hit the hay by midnight, and be up by 7 am. I have business appointments to go over early, plus chores, and kids to shuttle in the inbetween. Running a household and two businesses is pretty crazy...but, whatever...as long as I get to sleep, I can hold everything together quite nicely. I've found a good trick--no internet after 9pm, so this is it for tonight!

Slo Mo Confusion

The rain has been relentless...it lulls you into a sort of aimless mindset...a lethargy that becomes deeper with each passing raindrop...it's hard to get motivated when every day is soggier than the next.

I've gotten alot done, considering the fact I'm working two businesses, and taking care of kids that are home for the summer! Not too shabby...

I finished up my third painting in the series of seven last night--so now we have:

"Sea birds on a gray day" (SEE PAINTING ABOVE)
"Immortal beloved (flowers for the dead)"
"Lone fisherman on the jetty"

Starting painting number four hopefully tomorrow--I have a figure drawing session tonight, and also a very good high school friend coming in tonight to stay with us for the next two days, and also a wedding party coming in this weekend, plus we need to get the new drapes up in several guestrooms, not to mention installing a few new antiques...so I'm spread a little thin now--we'll see how it goes...

Untitled

I've had a lingering sickness for the last two weeks...it's in my throat now, but I hope it's on it's way out...

I've also had a lingering sickness in my mind...I feel all out of sorts...anxious, a bit depressed, as if something is waiting to happen...I can't pinpoint it, and I hate being distressed over something vague.

I guess I'll just out to my studio and start another piece...It's cool and clammy out, and I kind of like that...matches my mood.

My Dad came for a visit yesterday with Dale and Tom in tow...it was good to see him out and about, be he looked old and frail, and I was afraid to hug him and get him sick all over again. We all had a nice chat...discussing art, Silver Screen Hollywood, of course, Clint and his movies, Gran Torino, we went on to discourse about Henry Miller, reading some passages from "Black Spring" and as usual the state of the economy and political turmoil...drank some herbal tea...which was good because my nerves were fried with an ocular migraine triggered by an overdose of Chambourcin the night before...I gotta cut out the BS...that shit is going to be the end of me if I don't watch it.

Well, another cup of coffee, and I should be ready to head outside...

Too Dumb to be Smart

Well, I find myself in the same quandry. I live in a beautiful and insane world...but, I hope a few of us do.

I went to "Venice Biennale 2009" and wanted to puke. I guess I lost myself in stupidity for a while...I forgot being an artist was being a liar...being a painter was being a bullshitter.

Half-wits who put together incoherent "statements" and INSULTINGLY debased works...but, they spout the "correct" bullshit, and hobnob and lick ass to the right "friends". I forgot how I will be lost in a sea of nothingness, because I'm not gay enough, sick enough, left enough, pathetic enough, but most of all, not SHITTY enough, because if I have any talent, I'll expose them, and not fit into their weird little "wanna be eccentric but not untalented" box. Wanna live a lifestyle that feeds a lie.

Art is about beauty and connection. Art doesn't need an incoherent statement behind it to be beloved. It's about reality...and not incoherence--if it can't be verbalized, it can't be executed. And vice versa. You can't run before you walk, and you can't create before you can even form the creation into a simple statement...a statement that means something...a statement that is UNIVERSAL enough to be "art" If you have to attach a 15 page "statement" of crap that no one but a decoder can understand to even make your work viewable enough that it won't be thrown out with the trash...you are just a bullshitter. A liar. I have no time for liars, con men, and stupid suckers that perp it. Remember the book...The Emperor's New Clothes...written by a true artist...HCA. (that's your hint my sweet friends lol)