Portrait of Joey

"Portrait of Joey" by Hilary J. England, oil on canvas, 12" x 16" 2019

Portraits and life

I started working on portraits again.  I had taken a couple of months hiatus, after returning from Israel, as I had other projects that were really demanding, one being wrapping up my Master's degree, last week.

I love doing portraits, as it is always a challenge, but more, I feel like I get to know a person's spirit and soul while I am doing them.  This is especially true if a person has passed on -- and there is no physicality in this earthly plane anymore, to reference.  When a living portrait is created, I can reference the sitter, see their body language, the energy they give off, what their eyes tell me.  When I do a posthumous painting, I must pour over photos, listen to stories from their loved ones, and from those different elements, try to glean their essence -- what they were like while they were alive -- how can I capture their "likeness" in the portrait.

Defining a Portrait

A portrait is so much more than trying to copy a photograph.  You can copy a photograph down to it's last grainy pore, and not "capture" the person's true likeness.  Likeness comes when you can capture the persons' essence and spirit that emanates from their being-- in the present, or in the past, while they were alive.  When a person who loved them says to me -- "wow -- I can feel the happiness of their smile" -- or "you really captured their expression" -- then I know the artwork was a success-- it will "live" in the recipient's life, much more than just on their wall.

I have a Mom who tells me the portrait of her sons who both passed on gives her immense comfort, more so than any photo.  She "feels" them with her when she sits near their portrait in her living room.  This brings me joy to know it brings her comfort.  I feel my task was completed as an Artist when I hear her relay this to me.

And so, more will be on the way in the next few months now that my life is my own again! :-)

Textures and landscapes

"Study of nude and the old barn (textures)" by Hilary J. England
oil on canvas, 16" x 20", 2019

Beginnings...

I began this mid-month with an intensely renewed interest in the figure versus textures of the outdoors.  This strange obsession must coincide with the full moon! I would say it's PMS but I haven't had an overwhelming urge for chocolate, so I cannot attribute it to that haha

Working with the group of models, it's still been rainy and hard to coordinate, but that didn't slow me down too much.  I just decided to work par Coeur -- and go from there.  I had a vision in my mind of what I wanted the paintings to look like -- limited palette, reminiscent of Manet, with an emphasis on the textures of the environment rather than the figure itself.  Naked and unashamed, but rather, an object in the landscape rather than the actual focal point itself.

These things madden me.  Trying to photograph the finished work is enough to make one want to down a gallon of moonshine -- the shadows were so deep, and the reflections wash those tones away.  I tried my best and had to let it go.  The painting DID have the quality I set out to capture, even if the camera would not cooperate with me.  That age-old struggle will never end.

Conclusions:
I guess I can't be too dismayed.  I feel the painting is a success, even if the camera is telling me to go jump in a lake.  I will attempt to re-photo it in the next few days.  I'm just too tired and frustrated now.  The hits don't stop because you are creating -- on the contrary, they seem to ramp up while I concentrating on a task! I was being lazy and didn't set up the lighting etc.  -- it was a long day and I just didn't want to be bothered.  Tomorrow! Like Scarlett said, "after all, tomorrow is another day!" ;-)

-Enjoy

Day 12 Santorini/Fira

Day 12 was a bit more sedate-- actually, MUCH more sedate than yesterday.  I woke up surprisingly not sore anywhere haha, after a very restful night's sleep, and decided the next two days here would be my "wind down" before leaving on Tuesday.  

I decided to see the island itself as much as I could in its entirety, so I engaged a very engaging guide named Johannes, from Bavaria, but of Greek descent.  His immediate sarcasm and wry humor made me feel right at home with him and his small group, so off we went.  He showed us many nice little villages, all accompanied with his biting comedic comments, and then took us to Akrotiri, where he led us through the ruined Minoan city with precision and a very informative, historical tour.  

After we spent about two hours in the ruin (which is bordered by the fable "Red beach" -- which was currently somewhat inaccessible due to falling rocks), we headed to the famous Black Beach and had a very nice few hours there, just swimming, relaxing, and enjoying a leisurely lunch.  After we headed up to the highest point of the island, at a hair under 4,000 feet, and did some exploring up top -- pretty scary to look down!  The cliffs are completely unguarded, so as Johannes said, if you decided "this is where you want to end it all,  sayonara!"  

Johannes decided that for safety sake, it was better to visit the cliffs BEFORE the next stop, which was the winery.  We headed to Santorini's premier winery, with beautiful views, and since I'm not a wine drinker, they provided me with a glass of fresh local orange juice, which was very nice of them.  We stayed around for about an hour, and then we were off.  Johannes tried to convince me to head back to Oia, but it was hazy, and the cruise ships had just come into port, so the idea of wading through another thousand Japanese tourists vying for a shot of a hazy sunset was not appealing to me.  He understood, and arranged for me to be dropped off at the hotel.  He said in parting, "I envy you.  I despise dealing with the cruise ships in Oia!"  Haha, apparently, I made the right choice heading back.

So, tomorrow's plan, complete leisure, as I leave Santorini the following morning, and would actually like to have one full day of rest before heading out.  Let's see if I can manage that without getting too stir crazy!

Day 6 Athens and Cape Sounion

Day 6 started off gray and windy, with a few showers, but that did not dampen my enthusiasm.  I started off with a traveler's snafu: the cab app I had downloaded did not work in Athens.  I had to meet a tour group across town in an hour and I literally had no clue how I was going to do that, without a cab, or lay of the land.  So, I was determined to not miss the group -- and on a wing and a prayer, I did a quick Google that showed there was a Metro tram that would take me within a few blocks of the meet up.  So, I ran down to the metro station, got on the line, bought a ticket, ran back up to the tram station, rode the tram the Google allotted amount of stops (which were incorrect) -- got off at the wrong stop, asked several people along the additional nearly kilometer I had to walk (through some shady areas too) and finally, all sweaty and flustered, arrived 15 minutes early for the meet -- so I could sit down, catch my breath, and enjoy some air conditioning.

The rest of the day was nice.  We visited some of the major areas of the city, and during this time I met with a few other solo travelers, one in particular was a very nice 30 something year old Nurse named Brooke from Sydney.  We ended up buddying up for the day, enjoying lunch together, and seeing all the sites.  It's funny how that works for us solo travelers-- We meet up, have a great time, go our separate ways, and never see each other again -- it's a traveler's "one night stand" minus the sex and sadness hahahahaha

Later, we traveled out the hour and a half to Poseidon's temple at Cape Sounion -- and what a beautiful site that was.  The best of trip.  It was so beautiful and peaceful -- with the sun beginning to set over the Aegean Sea -- the music of soft, gentle breezes, and sweet low chirping of little quayle that live on the rocky coastline.  I could've stayed there forever.  The ancient lore has it that this was the cliff that King Aegeus jumped from and killed himself, when he thought he son Theseus was dead.  Theseus had gone to Crete to kill the Minotaur under the cloak of night, and had black sails on his ship for cover.  King made a pact with Theseus and his group -- if Theseus killed the Minotaur, they would change the sails from black to white, and the King could see from a distance that his son was alive.  But Theseus fell in love with a Princess after killing the Minotaur, and in his delight and distraction of his love, forgot to change the sails from black to white.  When the king saw the approaching ship had black sails, he despaired that his son was dead, and he threw himself from the cliff into the sea.

After the trip back to Athens, I was pretty exhausted.  The day required a lot of climbing, and as expected, my pedometer clocked over 7.4 miles of walking (much of it climbing) so I was ready for a hot bath and some relaxation -- which is exactly what I did when I got back to the hotel.  And now, goodnight!

Day Two - Rome

Day Two - Rome

I started off the day rather miserably, with no sleep, which was a drag.  I had left the one outdoor balcony door of my room open for air the day before, and I was pretty much attacked by mosquitoes the night before, making for a sleepless frustration.  But, that would not dampen my enthusiasm, so rather than wrestle with sleep that wouldn't arrive, I showered and headed out extra early.  

First, a delicious cappuccino and an apricot roll and then I headed to Spanish stairs area.  Even early, it was mobbed, so I went by it and admired all the local architecture, and just roamed about the area, enjoying the atmosphere, sketching the local architecture, and soaking up the morning breezes.  I was able to hop a bus and see some really nice architecture in Jewish quarter, and around the City Hall areas as well.

I wandered the city until about 1 pm, then headed over to Colosseo stop on the Metro, as I had scheduled to join a 3 hour tour of the Colosseum and Palantine grounds.  I made a quick stop in a cafe for some iced tea and a light lunch of a small antipasto dish with some salami, olives, interesting cheeses and headed to the Colosseum.  It was now close to 2 pm, and it was a nearly a mob scene of vendors, and thousands of selfie taking tourists in every direction.  Not one to be left out, I decided to take my biannual selfie in front of the Coliseum too! 

The sun was blazing hot and I could see the discomfort on many faces -- and even though I had prepped for it, with sunblock, glasses, hat, and my shoulders covered, the light was nearly blinding, and so intense, it was making my sunglasses fog with moisture behind the lenses.  I dipped into one of the shady spots along the long walls of the grounds, and waited to meet up with my group.  The guide arrived promptly, and was a very thorough and entertaining older gentlemen, who spoke in great detail of the history of the Colisseum and the origins of Rome itself.  He navigated us through searches and metal dectectors almost as thorough as the airport to enter the Coliseum (and again at Palantine) and then we were able to enjoy the grounds.  There were many schools there  that day, and the kids, initially boisterous and happy, became quiet and drained after a while, all sitting flushed in the alcoves of shade the porticos of the ancient ruins offered. 

By 5 pm I was also ready to keel over, and joined the groups of quiet kids sitting about snoozing in the shade, or sipping at bottles of ice water sold for a Euro by the numerous vendors.  I was more than ready to start heading back to the Vaticano area, as much as I enjoyed the tour, just to escape the heat.  I headed into the Metro, and back toward Vaticano.  The Metro system is excellent here, one of the better ones I've ridden in a while, and is surprisingly clean, not overly crowded, and very affordable at 1.5 Euro for.a single ride, or 7 Euro for a an unlimited 24 hour pass. 

Dinner time was approaching and I hadn't made a decision so I stopped off at a local cafe and enjoyed an chicken "insalata" because after the brutal heat, the idea of putting anything warm inside my mouth was shudder inducing.  I had a nice homebrewed iced tea limon and I began to meander my way back to my pensione.  I was flushed, and decided to head in early to shower off the heat of the day.  After I did that, I had some plans to head back out and wander a bit -- which never happened, because the heat and sunburn and no sleep of the night before caught me, and I basically passed out cold haha waking up 7 hours later, which brings me to now :-) -- 4 a.m. In Roma.  A new day :-)

Winter observations

"Abandoned suitcase in the reeds" by Hilary J. England
oil on canvas, 7" x 14, 2016

Here is a plein air painting I did the day before yesterday.  It was so blistering cold, my fingers kept getting numb, and my Liquin got all goopy, and my canvas blew into the dirt a few times too.  This weather sometimes makes me very depressed, so I try to work through it.  I don't know if it's the weather as much as it is the time of year...after the holidays, and everyone seems to be dropping dead.  It gets dark by mid-afternoon, and my eyeballs dry out at night from the heat being on. Enough to make you want to hibernate until Spring.

This painting reflects the forlorn mood I was in.  A sad, broken suitcase, just mouldering on the edge of the frigid river, nestled sadly amongst the dead reeds and cold rocks.  I thought of the trips it made or didn't make, and now, it's final resting place.  Winter sometimes does that to me -- makes me too introspective.

Anyway, I thought it was an interesting composition, and I have decided on my walks in the very mean weather of January and February to record the feelings and sights of winter.  So here is the first.

~Enjoy.

En route

"View from my balcony on a rainy day'  Oil on canvas board, 11" x 14"  

Today is the day.  Going home.  I am excited and of course, always a little wary, and will be able to relax once I'm aboard the plane for America in Mumbai.  

Alyssa and I plan to make a little day of it in Cochin before I go to the airport, and that's fine.  I had planned on going straight to the airport, but I would have sat for nearly 12 hours, so why not do a little sight seeing beforehand?  She is staying in Cochin for the evening, so I can stow my luggage in her hotel for the afternoon, and at least have a nice day out.  And then, I'm very happy to be on route home, and to see my family and friends.  For some reason, this trip was harder for me, and it seemed harder to engage with the culture, and by the time I did, it was almost time to come home, so maybe the next time plan a longer trip, and knowing what to expect, I will feel comfortable more quickly than this time around.  I think the experience was SO foreign to me, the culture shock took more time to overcome.  But, experience is priceless, so I am happy for it...all things are a learning experience, and this trip was certainly that.

So, bon voyage to India, and hello to America.  I am looking forward to home :-)

Day 17

"Wash day" oil on canvas panel, 11" x 14  

Day 17--Musical Beds

Closer to home.  Just a few days to go, and I am looking forward to going home and seeing my family and just being home and comfortable.  This is the first time I really feel somewhat homesick on a travel abroad, so it is what it is...alot went on on this trip, so I guess that is normal.  It is still up in the air whether this trip will technically be a failure for me, and that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I was unable to get even half the work done that I had anticipated, due to various setbacks, plus, being in shared quarters, it's difficult, no matter which way you slice it.  I tried to improvise things a bit, but there is a delicate give and take that must be done for the comfort of others as well, so that I was not able to get the amount of work done I would have as if I was on my own, which I originally intended.  For the sake of the residency experience I had made a decision to not leave the compound earlier on, and the group of artists, even though the accommodations were growing inadequate (not due to size, just to maintenance), but now I may regret that decision.  If I had left earlier, I might have had a chance at getting more work done, but that opportunity is gone now too, so either way, even if the accomodations are improved, I will be so far behind there will be no catching up.  I just have to accept and deal with that fact, and work with what I've got when I return to the States, to develop my series.

And, what I have is only a handful of sketches and five paintings, which is pitiful.  Last night, our room reached nearly 100 degrees inside, no breeze, and the moisture in the room was so dense, our pillows were soggy and smelled moldy.  Our air conditioner has not worked in over a week in the heat and intense moisture, but that is due to a maintenance problem rather than electrical issues. We were told that four of the five shared bedrooms DID have running air conditioners, even on the generator, whereas we (my roomie and I) did not have air conditioning for days now, and were told by the men that staff the property that the issue would be resolved, and sadly, it never was.  

After the room reached that zenith of heat, no amount of sleeping in your underwear could make it livable, just left us open to mosquitoes and predators (the human kind) by forcing us to sleep with all windows and even the door open for a little cross draft, so we were forced to decamp in the middle of the night, and join a room of 3 (that was also over original capacity of 2) who were kind enough to invite us into their already crowded quarters.  Now, there were 5 of us in this room, like artist refugees, huddled around the air conditioner, sleeping with our mattresses on the floor, and even though the room is very large, it was still an awkward experience, and one I do not wish to continue with for the remainder of my stay, mostly because I know I will never get a decent night's sleep for any of these nights left, just because I am a fussy sleeper.  This means I will be looking to leave here if the air condtioning situation can't be rectified today.  It's just too many people in a room, although another room of gracious artists did say we could join them (3 in a room), I feel kind of bad about that too, like a gate crasher, as their room is very small, but we'll see how it goes today.

So, that's my situation for now.  I got about 2 hours of sleep last night, and am groggy and grouchy.  I don't see a very productive work day in this weary and disjointed state, but I'm hoping to (again) try to push through the discomfort and get this painting done (it might be the final one here, not sure yet), and if the conditions aren't improved, have to have my hosts arrange for me to stay at another homestay or resort until Monday, where I can have some air conditioner and be able to sleep without feeling like I'm stuck to flypaper.  Not an impossibility in India by the way, as I had it in Goa at that modest little holiday home called "Angels" that I stayed at privately prior to coming to Lilypad.  As I understand, if the air conditioners cannot be fixed for our room today, the owner/ residency hosts will extend us the gracious action of sending us to a hotel a kilometer or so down the road that has air conditioning so we can spend the night in comfort, and then transport us back to the compound for breakfast and working, etc.  That is sounding very good at this junction, and although I like my room and my roomie and I had/have a good system in here, she is opting for the comfort of air conditioning as well...

That's the long and short of it.  Our residency hosts have been trying hard to get everything resolved, and for that I feel sorry for them, as they are also dealing with the gripes and discomfort of a group of 10, all are frustrated in varying degrees, by various issues such as the wifi, etc. and so, hopefully, we can just get this situation fixed today and enjoy the last several days here we have left.....In the meantime, I will try to finish up my last painting, and maybe if I can get another done by Saturday, I will attempt it.  I'll have to see how it goes, depending on the weather, the workspace, etc.

Day 3

I am still undecided about how I feel about India.  After the long travel here, the delays, the conversion problems, the hellride through the desolate roads with the taxi driver and stranger, and then literally walking into my hotel room and immediately getting stung by a giant wasp, and having a hideous and continuing reaction to the venom, I was pretty sure I was not getting out of Goa alive, and if I actually did, and made it home to the USA, made a promise to myself to have my head examined quite thoroughly.  

After spending the entire day in bed yesterday nursing my ailing leg, and laying about in the spacious air conditioned room, listening to the soothing rain, watching HBO between dozing on and off, and taking a lukewarm shower that at least washed the travel away, I felt a little better.  I ordered room service, a very nice roasted lamb dish with new potatoes in a brown garlic sauce, that was very good.  And, a 7-Up with an old fashioned straw....made me think of home.

The food here is amazingly good!  For breakfast, I had a delicious omelette masala, which is a spicy omelette with hot peppers and other veggies in there, along with a light yet dense rice cake with a sublime cucumber sauce that accompanied it, and the waiter called "Cumar" insisted I try a nice little sort of porridge, delicate and milky, yet sweet, with slivered almonds and golden raisins, which was truly delicious.  You can't help but eat all of these amazing local and native dishes...it's so easy, as they are there, and so casual the way the food is given to you.  It's different from any other "foodie" state or country I've ever visited.  Say, for instance, Paris, the food is sublime, but the approach is aloof, and the Parisians offer no help there, haha....you are left on your own, overwhelmed with decisions, and for someone like me, I usually go with the safer choices...but not here in Goa.  For some reason, the atmosphere of this place is just conducive to partaking of all the native foods...or maybe it's just the bee sting that gave me brain damage!  No, I will give Goa high marks for delicious and interesting foods.

The people here are also very accommodating.  The men, who were severely demonized Stateside by well-meaning friends, have been very gentlemanly, and I appreciate that, since I was wary of them to the point of paranoia.  Now, don't think I will get too comfortable, but it's refreshing to know that for the most part, they have been very genteel and polite, and helpful to me when I have asked them to help me, directions, locations of certain stores and resources.  And, it's needed, because this place can be overwhelming...The chaos of it, extreme poverty and squalor, with pockets of civilization, on the outskirts of Goa, while Panjim City seems to be a wealthier area, with narrow streets jammed with taxis and rickshaws, and many different shops which would prove a real treat for those who love to shop, but I, either fortunately or unfortunately, am not one of those people, so just observing the place, the people, and the architecture was enough for me.  There seem to be many influences here, from the different groups of invaders that left their marks upon this place, leaving it fascinating in it's chaos and crumbling beauty.  

I came to observe and to digest this place, and I hope I am up to that task.  I finally have my mineral spirits, so I will sit on my lovely little balcony tonight, and paint the exotic flowers until the torrential rains return...

So it begins!

So it begins!!

The journey begins today, officially.  All of the little plans, and little details, the work up to it, everything, is enough to give one butterflies, as this is the furthest I’ve been away from home yet, and for some reason, that thought made me slightly nervous yesterday.  I don’t know why, yet it did.

In reality, I am in even a better position to travel this year than I was last year when I went to Eastern Europe, yet the more relaxed pace previous to this trip gave me more time to think, and to digest all kinds of scare-mongering from well meaning loved ones, hahaha.  I refuse to give in to fear.  It’s against my nature.

So, now I sit here in Newark airport, waiting for the long flight to Mumbai, and then the layover, and then the short flight to Goa.  The check-in process in Newark was incredibly smooth, which is why I really love this airport.  JFK is a nightmare on every front, from the grueling cross town traffic, to the ineptness of the whole check in process…no thank you.  Every time I get tempted by a slightly cheaper ticket over there I just think back to the various nightmares I have endured at that airport, and shudder, and then go with the Newark ticket LOL.

This waiting process is not very hard right now, and I am surprised at the number of women travelers, both solo or as mother/daughter teams.  That is a reassuring observation to me, for whatever reason….maybe it assures me I’m not really freaky for traveling to India solo ;-)

Now, I will change some currency, and just wait to board…I have my books, movies and various games downloaded to my iPad, and I am hoping the smooth trip continues nicely and God remains with me on my travels, and I can lay my head comfortably on my pillow in my air conditioned room in Goa!!  I will update in Mumbai…or maybe even up in the air if I have wifi access!