The Rollercoaster that is Life...

Back to the day in and day out...that's OK.  I don't mind it.  I do have some very big changes coming in the next few months, and I'm looking forward to shifting gear.  Change is hard, but I know that it is the only way to progress into new parts of your life, and continue growing, so I brace against the wind, and run headlong into it!  That's just my style.

I have some shows coming up in the next couple of months, the first in Chelsea in another week or so.  It is called "Idiosyncratic Expressions," and will be on West 25th Street, with the opening on December 1st.  I'll be really busy in the next upcoming weeks and months, and that's always good.

On a sad note, my friend Lori passed away this afternoon.  I was so saddened to hear it.  She had been only recently ill with cancer, lung cancer, and went downhill so quickly, it was shocking.  She was the sweetest person.  I know most people always say that after a person is gone, but Lori literally was.  She was a gentle, shy, funny, witty gal with a heart of gold.  We  bartended together "back in the day," and we remained in contact because we always passed in the same circles, and remained in touch.  I knew she was ill through a mutual friend of ours, and I talked to Lori and planned to go see her this week, not realizing how close to the end she really was.  She died this afternoon surrounded by family and friends.  I'm happy she passed in such a loving way...

She was such a fighter.  According to her oldest daughter, she was drinking coffee until a few hours before her death, and still conscious!  She was beautiful and spunky, with baby blue eyes and a shy but dazzling smile.  Now I don't get to say goodbye to her,  only to her family.  I can kick myself for not moving more quickly, for thinking I had more time.  I saw she was out to a luncheon with friends only ten days ago, so I couldn't fathom she was that close to death.  I am heartsick now.

R.I.P. Lori.  You will be missed.  You touched many lives with your kindness and compassion, and your strong but gentle will.  May flights of angels see you to your rest.

Paris mi amour

I can't believe it's our last night here in Paris.  I love this city, and it makes me sad to go :-(  The opening of the exhibition went very nicely, and we met some wonderful and interesting people from London, Russia, Dublin, Italy, and other places, so we had a great time.

We did have a lot of fun memories on this trip, from the initial Algerian taxi driver trying to charm us with "sexy time," (eeeeeeeeeeeeewwww!!!) to Jilly and I fumbling around in the Metro unable to get the automachine to take our Euros, all under the disapproving eye of the most French looking Frenchman we saw in all of Paris--it was so comical, I said he probably thought he was watching Ralph Kramden and Norton trying to operate the machine!  Jill was in awe of how French he was--she was waiting for his tongue to shoot out of his mouth and catch a fly!!!  (No offense LOL).  The crowning moment of the day:  when we were in a beautiful little cafe by the Eiffel tower, and the old guy in the seat next to us just started eating bread out of our bread basket.  It was like a friggin Seinfeld episode.  I whispered, "Jilly, he's eating our food!" We just looked at him in surprise, and he smiled and waved.  Jill and I just started cracking up!  It was so damn funny, we laughed until we literally cried. 

So, we are going to go out for a nice farewell dinner tonight, and then tomorrow, back to the States.  But, we will be back in the Spring/Summer of 2012, so it is only au revoir for a short time!!

"Summer's End" by Hilary J. England, oil on canvas, 40" x 40" x 2", 2011

Here is my newest painting, called "Summer's End."  It was a bittersweet painting to complete, as there was a hint of sadness in it, suggesting the passage of time and inevitable change, and how we all move on to new things, and our moments together are fleeting.  I felt a cataclysmic shift approaching, a vibe in the air that felt like a strange foreboding, and the only one in the painting completely oblivious to it was the baby,little Amelia.  Although I enjoyed painting it, it really took a lot out of me emotionally, and I was quite drained at the finish of it.

I've been very busy lately, since Paris is coming up in a couple of weeks, and then I still have another two exhibitions, and more planned, overseas as well.  School has been taking a lot of my time as well, and I have been feeling blue since I've had a major change in the house with Noelle moving to New York City to attend high school.  It really was more painful than I thought to let my baby go to bigger and better, and I have been nursing my broken heart for a couple of weeks now.  I hope the change will do her good, and it does bring me comfort to know she is attending the same high school I did, only I hope she will make more of it than I did, lol.

Yes, Paris.  I am looking forward to returning to Paris...what can you say about Paris and its exceptional beauty and vitality?  Culture and history?  Just amazing.

So, with that happy thought, I hope you enjoy my new painting♥

More painting

"Stonhedge in late Summer" 12" x 16" oil on canvas by Hilary J. England

I have to say, I have been very very busy lately.  I have been planning for upcoming shows, and with school, running the B&B which has been booming, and working diligently on my paintings, I'm just a paintin' fool!!  I love the cooler weather (although we are technically still waiting on it), and I'm looking forward to Paris in November, and perhaps going on to Italy from there.

I'll leave you with this quick, impressionist study I did of a beautiful enclave in Stonehedge Gardens.  It was very shaded and cool and damp, and it just kind of struck my fancy.  It's titled "Stonehedge in late summer" and it is 12" x 16" oil on canvas.

Lots more to come!



"Summer picnic in Pennsylvania" by Hilary J England, 2011, 36" x 48" oil on canvas

Well, I finally finished this piece.  I hit the wall and forced myself through...I get bored easily, and like all people I have to force myself to finish what I start.  In the end, I'm happy with the painting, but this one was not any easy or pleasant one by a far cry.

First, the nature of it (so many people) took maximum effort.  Multiple figure groupings are a challenge from a design standpoint, but I was very happy with the design I finally ended with--it was just hte painting itself.  Through the end of the summer, it was a miserable experience, to be blunt.  But, I perservered through sweat, fly, gnats, sweltering heat, and general frustration, and I finished it.  That in itself is a victory.  Near the end, I was ready to just throw it aside...but I knew how much that would bother me.  I would not be able to move on until I gave it my very best once more, and in the end, I really think it came together wonderfully.

So, now I can breath a sigh of relief, sit back and really enjoy this painting, and move on to the other large scale paintings I'm looking to begin...Hooray!  Out with summer and in with the cool weather!

Sunday...and the countdown begins!

"Poppy field" by Hilary J England, Oil on canvas, 2011

Let the countdown to school begin!!  Brother, I am sooooooo looking forward to these teenagers having something to do with themselves again.  I don't remember ever hanging around the house whining and being annoying at this age--I was always out....getting in trouble LOL.  Maybe it's better they stay around and whine about being bored!!!

Here is my newest study out in the field...it was actually done about a month or two ago, but I have been slacking with keeping up with my photography, so here it is now!  It's called "Poppy field," because, it was a field full of poppies and wildflowers!!  Sorry, I wasn't thinking of anything exotic in terms of names with this one.  I really enjoyed painting it though...it was one of those really relaxing and satisfying paintings with no hiccups...hiccups usually occur outside like your easel being blown face down in the dirt by the wind, getting stung by a bee or eaten by mosquitos, forgetting your turps, or getting chased away by irate farmers who don't want their land "painted."
None of that for this one!

So, out to get a jog in and some other stuff today...enjoy!!♥

Cool nights

Wow, when I was a little girl, I absolutely LOVED this man. I know it's weird, but his voice is so sublime, and I was transfixed with him. I thought he was such a handsome man, maybe because he reminded me of Jesus LOL.

This song takes me back!!! I love watching the video, and seeing how music was original then, with no corporate backers marketing them as objects or products, and they picked their own clothes instead of being dressed by staff that made a "look" for them, etc. They actually wrote and sang their own music, and looked like they were having fun, not enduring a choreographed workout some pencil pusher indicated they should do, to enhance their marketable image.

R.I.P. Paul Davis, you were a true artist, and you shaped my thoughts about love from when I was a little girl...romantic, exciting, contemplated. Just delicious. 

Come on over tonight...come on over....

Slacking...

"Study of pansies in their bed" by Hilary J England, oil on canvas, 8" x 10"

I know I've been slacking lately on my posts, and for that I do apologize.  I have personal stuff going on so I am pretty stressed out. 

Usually, I find solace in painting, but lately, its been like I have ADHD or something.  I find it hard to concentrate on anything, and sleeping is the only time my mind stops spinning and turning, when I can grab some.

I am plodding along doing what I have to do, albeit slowly.  I seem to have no heart for anything lately, but I know it will pass...I do feel a bit of hope that I didn't feel initially; maybe its just the support of some good friends that has me cheered up, and that is certainly a blessing!!

I am working my way through my big piece that I'm creating right now, with several other smaller pieces languishing on their respective easels in varying stages of development...that in itself makes me depressed.  I'm not used to struggling with this kind of a "block," and its one of the toughest things I've wrestled with lately.  All of the problems that are going on seem to have all fallen down at once, kind of "kicking my knees out" from under me.  Perhaps I'll just sit on the ground awhile...or, maybe not.  I'm not the kind to sit around and grow moss ;-).

So, I'm going to push myself to finish what I've started...I have to for my own peace of mind.  I have shows coming up, and deadlines to meet, and languishing is not an option. 

To my friends that have sent me private messages and have been there for the last few weeks through this stress, thank you, God bless you, and I love you for your friendship and kindness.  I only hope that I can be there for you as well as you are for me if you ever have need....

So, I can blow up the image of my own "good" life LOL.  Nothing is ever perfect, not people, not places, not things.  And not me.  But, recognizing that, I can move on without animosity or anger, knowing that in the end, everything works itself out...I look forward to a new chapter in my life, hopefully I'm a bit wiser, and will learn from my own mistakes this time around.

Dog days of summer

"Cloudburst" by Hilary J. England 8" x 10" oil on canvas.

So, the dog days are here!  Hiding inside between noon and 5 pm because of the blistering heat, and an bored people.  Yikes...  Time for another vacay...

So, here's a rapid oil sketch I did at the local "botanical" gardens at Stonehedge.  I rather like it...

Trippin' and jumpin'

"Pain in the A$$ ♥♥"  by Hilary J. England, oil on hardwood panel, 16" x 20" 2011

We are bounding through summer.  I leave on my roadtrip to Montreal in a few weeks, so I'm prepping for the possible "tornado" damage I'll return to when the housesitters leave.  The old saying, "when the cat's away..."  Ah well...these are the little pitfalls of traveling and still keeping your home safe.  At least my Dad is on top of things while he's managing the place!

Above is my newest painting, called, "Pain in the A$$"  I'll let you figure it out, just from her mischievious facial expression.  Sigh...teenagers.  Boredom.  Mischief and energy.  Know it alls.  I wish I was that age again, sometimes.  Just to have the energy and optimism.  But, when I think of going through life up to this point all over again, the idea makes me shudder.  So much for reincarnation!

Aaaaaaaanyway...going out for the day and leaving all inhabitants behind in the house.  My mediums are drying up in the heat, and I can't believe I've run through so much, plus, I have paintings to pick up at the framers, and other errands.  That's the glamorous life!

Enjoy♥

Sand in the pants

"Storm over sand dune " study oil on canvas, 8" x 10" by Hilary J England

I had a nice day at the beach.  I've always liked Sandy Hook, since it brings back memories of my childhood...funny, since I've been going there my whole adult life, but I never really brought my kids there...I was always too afraid to be alone with them at the beach, afraid they would drown, and I worked so much when they were little, and lived far away from my family, so I never had anyone to go with.  Sad, really.

They are more "lake" types, since that's where I would always bring them.  The lake was calm and safe, with no rip currents, no mysteries of the deep.  The beach was "off limits" since the water was wild, and the kids were daring, and this scared me.  I remember once, when Noelle was about two, she wandered away from my beach blanket at Jones Beach, when it was packed wall-to-wall with people.  I ran searching for her, blanket to blanket, and then, down to the edge of the shore, where for a moment I watched the rough surf pounding against the sand, and felt a thrill of horror like one I've never felt before or since...I just felt completely helpless, thinking in that vast, violent mass of water, my baby could be lost inside of it, and I couldn't get to her.  I just stood on the shore and cried.  The lifeguards found her wandering with a little group of children close to the snack stand.  She apparently saw the kids playing with their sand toys and ran off after them.  I never brought the kids back to the beach again.

Yesterday though, the beach was extra quiet, the water still and gentle.  The shore has a steep drop-off, so I respect that I have to be cautious.  The day was so hot, it was hell trying to cross the quarter mile of sand to access the North beach.  I can now say I feel pity for anyone who has to cross a desert.  What an ordeal...I literally thought my feet would have blisters on them.

The weather held out until about 5 pm, and then a terrific storm came rolling in.  I got to capture a good deal of it before we were kicked off the beach, and as Providence would have it, the second we opened the door to the car, the rain started.  Talk about perfect timing.

So, I hope you enjoy my painting study of "Storm over the sand dune." I was only working with four colors and titanium white, so it was as basic and to the heart of it as I can get it.  I'm looking forward to hitting up some more Shore points very soon, and getting right back into that ocean! ♥

Stormy sky



"Stormy sky study" by Hilary J England 8" x 10" oil on canvas

I am looking forward to my road trip to Montreal for the opening reception of our group exhibition at the Gallery Gora.  It should be fun, and road trips are always a good time for me.  I love the scenery and stopping off in different parts of the country and taking in the local "culture."  I am definitely looking forward to the next few weeks.

This little study above was done in a field of some kind of wheat, I'm not really sure what type, but the sky was starting to get really stormy looking and the clay earth had this red tone, so, I pushed it a bit, and had some fun with it.  That's why it's fun to be an artist...you get to make it your way!! 

So, with summer upon us, I was thinking of ways to incorporate that season and the accompanying heat into the series I'm working on, and I've gotten some pretty good ones, so I'm going to start on that limb of the series in the next few days.

All in all, life is good!  Hope it's the same for you♥

Sunrise and sunset

"Sunset" by Hilary J England 8" x 10" oil on canvas

Sunsets and sunrises...they seem to go by very quickly these days, and I didn't want to miss the beauty of these never-ending awe inspiring events.  So, I did this quick study...

I have been looking for different ways to meditate with this beautiful, natural world, as well as make that important mind-body-spirit connection, and I've decided that giving up watching current events for a spell would be extremely helpful.  So, I will just "be" for the time being.  Be calm and restful with no daily assault of negativity on my senses...

I wish I could go on a nice holiday and completely "unplug" but that won't be the case for a few weeks...sparing a day here and there at the beach.  But hey, it's still something to look forward to. 

Well, back to the studio!

Gentle breezes

"Field of flowers" by Hilary J England 8" x 10" oil on canvas

I am looking forward to going back to the beach...it's definitely time to get some ocean refreshment!  I want Noelle to come with me, but she is hesitant to leave her friends (typical teen), but I have her in mind for this specific trip.  I must admit, I have some ideas in my head for painting her at the beach, actually that is truly the motive for the trip, besides my need for the water.  So, I must set up my plan to convince her...it's like setting a plan for hunting a deer, lol.  Make sure I prod her in one direction, but not too strongly, if I see her going in another direction, head her off at the pass...

Montreal is coming very soon, and I must get the paintings shipped.  Then, my New York exhibition, my Paris exhibition, the trip to Florence, and the holidays.  This year seems to be slipping by at an unprecedented rate...I don't know where the time goes.  It gives me nightmares sometimes, how fast life is going by.  If I had no faith, it would be an idea that depressed me into catatonia...

Last night, when I was reading, I got a very unusual phone call...a real "blast from the past"---25 years in the past!  An old school and neighborhood chum, who found my number on Facebook, and found we were not living too far from each other now.  He was actually very good friends with my brother, and was looking to get together with us all and have a barbeque.  I felt such nostalgia as I talked to him, my mind vaulted back to rough and tumble days at the dirty beaches of Staten Island, frolicking in the murky waters, yelling and screaming and running and fighting.

 I remembered he lived on a little cliff by the beach, with a path that led to the front of his house.  The house next door had an electric fence for their pet cow, and we were obsessed with this fence--we would form a chain, and dare each other to be the one to grab the fence...the theory behind it was that the guy on the end would get it the worst, but it hurt like hell just the same no matter where you were in the pecking order.  Michael Florio was the boy who lived in the house with the electric fence.  He died in 1990, decapitated in a car accident on the highway, on his way back to his college dorm at SUNY Binghamton.  All these years later, all this life went by, and he is still 19....

My old friend was a first responder to the 9/11 disaster, and now suffers from pulmonary fibrosis of his lungs as a result.  I felt sad to hear how this happened to him, in his attempt to do his duty for his community and his countrymen.  We made plans to get together for a barbeque in the next few weeks, and we could catch up and reminisce. 

So, the next few days should be busy as usual.  I am nearing the end of my second semester in University, and we have a "full-boat" with guests in the B&B.  The ghost stayed away last night and let me get a good night's rest, thank goodness!  I woke up so refreshed this morning, I didn't want to get out of bed...or, maybe it was the five miles I did in the gym yesterday...who knows. 

I leave you with this little painting I did of a beautiful field of wildflowers out in the little remote area of our "neighborhood."

Haunted House!



"Full moon study, Jersey shore" by Hilary J England, 8" x 10" oil on canvas

I slept better last night, without any ghostly occurrences, lol.  I have been having a rather weird problem of the last few weeks with what seems to be ( (cringe) )  something perhaps paranormal.  I will wake up for no reason between 2 and 4 a.m., usually sometime during the 3 a.m. hour, and my TV just blares on, or shuts on and off for no reason, I've found my dresser drawers open, the hall lights blinking, but the other night was definitely the worst...I woke up on my side, and when I opened my eyes, it appeared the black outline of either (a) a child or (b) someone on their knees, was staring at me face-to-face next to my bed.  I screamed and in an instant blinked my eyes as I fumbled for my light switch, but the "person" was gone.  It startled me so bad, I did a check of the whole lower portion of the house, and found the basement door open, which I knew was closed, and this startled me even worse.  After a more thorough check of the house, with no physical intruders, I was able to relax.  Very strange!!

We have had routine "strange occurrences" in the house, as reported by different people, such as the kids (which I chalked up to overactive imagination) and a few guests (which I chalked up to one too many glasses of wine), but this has become very regular, and has become disturbing to my sleep almost nightly.  I do have ghost hunters who are crazed to come in here, but I don't know if that's a good idea, since what will they do if they find something?  Nothing...probably just make "It" more angry.  Nope, maybe a Priest, but I think the ghost hunters will have to be held at bay for a now.

So, that's the daily Weird report.  With that, I will leave you with a rough color study I did with an amazing moon in the lingering sunset down at the Jersey shore...it was quite bewitching and almost paranormal!!!

Say Uncle!

"Uncle" by Hilary J England, oil on canvas, 24" x 30"

This is my newest painting in my rural youth series.  They are of endless fascination to me...my mind is is fully firing as I watch them, hear them, drink them in, and then create a work about them.  It must be the beauty of youth that is uncompromised, wherever they are located, or no matter what their circumstances...it's like a diamond...it's still just as beautiful whether it's in the most precious setting, or laying in the dirt.

This painting is called "Uncle" and I loved watching the whole drama play out of the squirming child who wanted to go his merry way and get into some mischief or worse, and his young Uncle who lovingly yet firmly takes him from the situation...it was entertaining to watch the two of them, and yet there is always undercurrents of the elements around them.  The cool Spring evening, the bare trees, the bracing wind, and Uncle's resistance to the cold with his summer clothes in the chilly weather, the warmth of their skin and bodies against the greying, weathered clapboard of the Victorian farmhouse...there was so much that was interesting in this subject matter and of course my models who I love so dearly!

I've posted my upcoming exhibition on my website:  www.fieldsendart.com and I will be adding more information and other galleries as I start formulating my schedule for the upcoming months. 

I hope to see some old friends as I begin a-journeying in the next weeks, and I am looking forward to getting a lot of work done as well...

Drip drip drip

"Bad girlz" by Hilary J. England, 18" x 24" oil on hardwood panel

So, the summer begins...I have been working at a quick pace to get things accomplished...I'm happy to say things have settled down in the last week...knock on wood.  I prefer the quiet and ability to take peaceful walks with just my Muse...and not being hounded by the demons of everyone else's drama chasing me like a predator.  Plus, throw schoolwork into this maze...

This painting is called "Bad Girlz"  and is still part of the series of young adults, obviously.  I like to see the chronology of them, and how Noelle is changing through them.  Her hair is much different in this painting, and Maddie, the little squirt, is so interesting to paint.  This one was done at twilight, and the light was very orange and glowing...it was interesting to put them together with all of their colors and textures, and of course, energy.

I will begin a new painting immediately, since my own energy is frenetic lately, and I have to move in order to release this toxicity...

I'm hoping to get to the shore in the next few days...that will make for some interesting studies.  I'll take Noelle, and see how it goes...

Late Spring breeze

"The path" by Hilary J. England, oil on canvas, 8" x 10", 2011

The weather has been perfect these last few days...70s and breezy, clear, bright blue skies with puffy, cottony clouds, and, without a hint of humidity...my favorite type of weather, hands down! 

Last night was Matthew's funeral...he was very loved.  Hundreds of people turned out, and I had to wait online with Noelle for about two hours to get in to the viewing...yes, he was a well-loved young man, which is what makes it so baffling and frustrating.  As I stood waiting online on that beautiful, breezy evening, I would watch the sporadic outlet of people coming out of the doors at the top of the stairs of the funeral home, and even the most stoic of men had a tissue to his eyes or his nose.  There wasn't a dry eye to be seen on the entire block...

R.I.P. Matthew Aungst.  I am sure God has you in His eternal love, care and rest, and for that, I feel peace about Matthew's death.  We all die eventually, and although Matthew's death was so premature, he still did alot in his young life, and touched many, many people.  Perhaps he had fulfilled his purpose in that short span...

I am looking to go the beach in the next few days.  Although the heatwave is gone, and it will be cool and breezy, I need the mental refreshment that the ocean breezes provide, even without swimming.  I am very much looking forward to feeling the briny wind against my face, and seeing the sparkling waves, the seabirds, and the roar of the waves.  I will bring my paints and get some studies done as well.

I got some good news today--I won another ArtSlant showcase, this time round 3.  That's always nice to hear!  Also, I've been asked by my sister to collaborate on a children's book, and I'm really looking forward to that as well.

So, I leave you with a study I did yesterday...it started out rather absently, but ended with some zest.  It's a study of foliage and a sundappled path lined by some boulders.  It's simply called, "The path."  Enjoy♥

Memorial Day Weekend and remembering...

Memorial Day...somehow you can't see it as anything but synonymous with sunny days, barbeques, and the kick off to summer...even though the meaning is a more reflective, solemn day, a day for remembering our fallen soldiers.

When I think of Memorial Day, and the soldiers who paid the ultimate price for our freedom, and I say a quiet prayer for their bravery, and marvel at their courage.  In the face of annihilation, they still took action...thank you for your service, and for laying your lives down for your fellow countrymen, and for the future of all of our children.

Memorial Day was a very sad one for us.  No, we were not personally reflecting on a lost soldier, but, we dealt with a completely different sadness...my young daughter's little boyfriend committed suicide on Sunday night.  He was only 15 years old...it makes me cry to even write this.

What would make such a beautiful young man do this hideous thing to himself??  It was completely out of left field...he was an A student, a track star, and had many friends.  He was gentle, quiet and polite.  We were very happy that our daughter had picked this young man to be her friend, as he seemed genuinely on his way to having a bright and happy future.  All of that ended with a single self-inflicted gun shot wound.

My daughter is devastated.  My heart breaks for her, watching her 15 year old mind try to make sense of something that even our adult minds cannot.  Why did he do it?  Why didn't he tell anyone he was hurting?  He had been bullied by a group of boys that day, and he was beaten up, and made fun of...was that enough of a reason to take his own life?  Noelle cried and cried, going over all of  Sunday's hours and events...wondering where she could have seen something, helped him, intervened...even a few hours before his death, he was supposed to come visit, and he never showed up.  He turned off his phone.  A few hours later, he was dead.

His older brother found him after hearing the gunshot.  His parents are inconsolable, as is his older sister...this type of death, I feel, is the hardest death of all...leaving everyone who knew him bitter with regret...what could we have done??   We'll never have those answers in this lifetime.

I tried to console Noelle as best as I could.  Matt made a very bad choice, but God loves him still.  He is in a place of peace and love, where no one can ever hurt him again.

She cried and looked at me and said, "I can't believe that I'm never going to see him again in this life.  In a year, I will be older than him.  One day, when I'm your age, he will still be 15."  Yes, it's a terrible, sad reality, what's left of shattered hearts in the wake of a suicide.

R.I.P.  Matthew...sweet baby boy. 

Art Takes London

Hilary J - ArtTakesLondon

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Enjoy your night, stay dry, stay safe, and have a wonderful weekend~