Soft rain

"Soft rain, low mountain" by Hilary J. England, 8" x 11" oil on canvas, 2016

I'm still working with themes that are serene.  The wet, foggy mountain in Spring, wildflowers all in bloom, the misty engulfing the young pines like a mother wrapping her arms softly around their new, tender branches.  I love the change of seasons, even if it means having soggy feet.

The drizzle, and then the rain.  My sneakers didn't hold up well, but then, I should of worn my hiking boots.  They are made for the damp earth and muddy puddles, and slippery rocks and all the wonderful things that signal the warmer weather.  But, today was chilly and damp, but I could still smell the scent of life in the air.  There is no mistaking that delicious smell, even if its accompanied by a sneeze or two.

Enjoy~

The bridge to unknown pastures

"The bridge to unknown pastures" by Hilary J. England, oil on canvas, 8" x 16" 2016

My musings and ruminations on death and the journey there, and then beyond, continue.  This is another painting I did today, although it's photographed a bit on the dark side (literally and not metaphorically --it's probably just a slight shade lighter when viewing in person as my Canon took the day off and I had to photo with the iPad), it is actually a bit more serene then the other two.  I mean my frame of mind was when painting it anyway.  For now! For today, but that's cool, because that's all that matters or counts.

I mused about how many "journeys within the journey" we actually take, as people come and go from our lives, some make a little impact, others you will walk with for all of eternity, and the "micro-journeys" we complete help shape us as surely as a chisel in a sculptor's hand.  Some of us walk a very traditional path, and the road always seems to be clear and level for these folks.  I used to grumble that they were lucky, but now, not so much any more.  I'd be the person crashing along the bank, coming up on the bridge head on rather than neatly along the road.  I've accepted that as well, and count myself as lucky that I see things maybe a little different than others.  Some may say that's "psycho" but I disagree.  I don't usually hear voices in my head (not mean ones that tell me to rampage anyway lol) or any other symptoms of disturbia, so I think it's all good.  I have a tendency to think and think and think, and sometimes that's not a pleasant thing, but at other times it allows me to really steep myself into the multiple nuances and complexities of a situation, and see the beauty of it, when others don't.  That has been the one biggest gift of my life...being able to roll with things, even very ugly or scary situations, and still find beauty and purpose in it.

I'm been gifted with the ability to move through things and still not feel "victimized".  Shit happens, to be blunt, and it doesn't always have to be someone's fault, or some cosmic conspiracy against me.  Sometimes I will feel self- pity like any other person, but in the end, I can usually see through it, and just let the whole situation go.  Give it to God, and just keep on walking.  He always fixes things up way better than I could have anyway, so why obsess?

So, there it is for today.  Enjoy!!

 

Visible shore

"Visible shore" by Hilary J. England, 2016, oil on canvas, 11" x 14"

Here's another little par coeur  painting I did regarding my thoughts on mortality, loss, and grappling to make sense of the passage of time and people.

I thought of what C.S. Lewis alluded to with the examination of death and the different metaphors he used, and what Tolkien had beautifully written about death being a distant shore.  I don't know if it was Tolkien that used a simple story to explain death and transition as a boat leaving port -- that when the ship leaves port, the people on the pier lose sight of the ship and feel sad watching it go and after it passes the horizon line and our field of vision, it seems to be gone altogether, yet  the people on the distant shore begin to see the appearance and arrival of that ship, and rejoice.  The passing through the veil.  The veil between life and death, the veil of tears.

As we get older and see the speeding up of these processes in relation to each year that passes, in some instances, we can see that shore starts to grow more visible.  You can turn your head away, and pretend you don't see what you truly see, but I think it's better to make peace with the truth, and to not fight what is on the horizon.

Making peace with things we absolutely resist is one of the greatest challenges of life, but it is part of the essential experience we must grow through as humans.  And, like all humans, I continue to struggle with certain things, and I think it will not grow easier with time, just more acceptable.

At least that's my hope.

"The journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain curtain of this world rolls back and all turns to silver glass. And then you see it. White shores, and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise."  Tolkien

~Enjoy.

Recovery

"Ominous" by Hilary J. England, 11" x 14" oil on canvas, 2016

It's been a long and horrible month.  I'm going to get very personal here since this is a very personal painting.  I suppose I could just let you all "wonder" at the story behind it, or where it originated from.  Did I go scope out some strange little child alone and naked on a lakeshore, and start painting her?. LOL, no.  This painting is just my personal "story" of the situation I am dealing with. My Dad nearly died after a bout of pneumonia this month, and the toll of that episode wiped me out more than I realized or anticipated.  I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't relax or concentrate, and the days just slipped by with me not realizing anything at all, just feeling like crap, and there being zero I could do to correct it, or move through it. Dad's still fighting to recover, and for that I am grateful, but the anguish of watching his suffering had really left me in a deep depression.

I painted this little painting today, to try and move through this funk I'm in.  I realized that Dad's illness stripped away everything in my life, to when I was a little child, and I was terrified of the unknown. I remember standing on the age of a lake, looking at the water, feeling anxious and afraid, not knowing what was in there and if it would swallow me up.

So, here was my psychological therapy for the day.  I don't usually do paintings "from my head", but this one was different, because I really needed to try and work out all of the struggles I was dealing with, and this helped me.  Didn't "fix" everything, but it helped.

~Enjoy.

Redwoods

"Redwoods" by Hilary J. England, oil on canvas, 24" X 36", 2016

I finished this landscape for myself.  I needed something new and relaxing to look at while I'm laying in bed in the throes of insomnia.  :-D

I have a bunch of other paintings I'm working on, but I feel so off-track this last week or so.  I don't know what's up, as I am not sick or anything, but I guess it's just one of those things.  I'll find my direction next week or so, I'm sure.  

Enjoy~

Life's a garden

"Dusk in the flower garden" by Hilary J. England
11" x 14", oil on canvas, 2016

I can't believe a whole month got away from me.  I have been working on various projects, including a book, and I had two different commissions, so this work has kept me very busy.

This week was a sad week.  News of death arrived, and that always hurts and is a wake-up call of sorts: Life is hard, but life is beautiful.  Along with the death of my friend, and there was also the death of a young man -- the son of an acquaintance from long ago -- very very sad.  These type of inexplicable events always give me pause to stop, and reflect.  Yes, life is hard, but life is beautiful.

So, I began to paint from some old photos I put together.  I really wanted to cheer myself up and just paint something that would warm my heart up again, and for me, that is always children.  And gardens.  Because after all, life is a garden, and children are life, so I painted this little painting, outside in the beautiful warm air, just lost in my own thoughts. Life and truth and beauty.

And -- I also reflected that with the sad news came sweet news also.  News of babies being born, and others to come -- quite a few of them are on the way with Spring and Summer -- and that made me smile.  Who doesn't smile when life renews itself?

So, I look forward to the Spring with renewed vigor and a positive joy for things to come!

~Enjoy

The Riviera

"The Riviera/Breezy Mediterranean afternoon" by Hilary J. England, 2016
Oil on canvas, 16" x 20" x 2"

This is number six painting in my "Travelogue" series.  I have been slow to post, mostly because I'm slow to photograph.

This was such a beautiful time, the month I spent in the French Riviera.  How can you not love warm, blinding summer days on the Mediterranean, just floating in the aqua sea, and leisurely afternoons enjoying the sights of Nice, Cannes, Monaco, and then heading into Italy?.

The time was one of reflection for me also, as I kept mostly to myself, only socializing here and there, but it was well worth it. 

Old Apple

"Old apple" by Hilary J. England
oil on canvas, 8" x 15" 2016
 

Here is another quick study of Winter I did while out and about looking for interesting things on my walks. 

For some reason, this old, decaying, faded apple -- eaten out, and now decomposing, caught my eye. It was just laying there, a bed of compacted dead grasses and vegetation, nestled in the melting snow. Maybe it was the contrasts of all the interesting colors, both warm and cool, or the symbolism of it in regard to the season of Winter: the end of things, nostalgia, death, decay, yet the flip side, peace, quiet, gentle snow, pure bracing air that cleanses...

This winter has not been a very bad one, with only one very tame blizzard, that arrived like a gentleman on a Friday, and left discreetly by Saturday evening.  I have been able to get some work done, but I notice that no matter how unaffected I think I may be by the mild weather, I still notice there is a change of mindset in winter that is not related to weather.  Even in nice weather, my energies are different, so there is that observation as well.

~Enjoy!

Study of female model

Study of female model, backlit -- colored Conte on gray Ingres/cardboard, 18" x 24"

 

Today's live morning work at the Art Establishment.  We decided for a longer pose, with the model clothed because it was so dang cold.  Even clothed, it is cold.  Even with the portable heaters, it was cold.  January is just plain cold.

I chose an area to draw from where she was backlit, but even then, I tried to just focus on that unique lighting.  She had her arm extended to the side in an odd way, and this was a hard pose for her to keep, and for me to foreshorten also, with her body rotated and legs completely obscured beneath a long black skirt, but again, I tried to focus on the interesting backlighting.

I was in dire need of more coffee, and it's been so long that I've done a figure with clothing on, and in Conte dry pastel, it was a very foreign experience.  I'm glad I tried to mix it up though.  Stretching yourself and challenging yourself is what it's about at these sessions.  I almost cheated went for my paints, but I forced myself to just work in dry medium, and suck it up lolololol.

Winter observations

"Abandoned suitcase in the reeds" by Hilary J. England
oil on canvas, 7" x 14, 2016

Here is a plein air painting I did the day before yesterday.  It was so blistering cold, my fingers kept getting numb, and my Liquin got all goopy, and my canvas blew into the dirt a few times too.  This weather sometimes makes me very depressed, so I try to work through it.  I don't know if it's the weather as much as it is the time of year...after the holidays, and everyone seems to be dropping dead.  It gets dark by mid-afternoon, and my eyeballs dry out at night from the heat being on. Enough to make you want to hibernate until Spring.

This painting reflects the forlorn mood I was in.  A sad, broken suitcase, just mouldering on the edge of the frigid river, nestled sadly amongst the dead reeds and cold rocks.  I thought of the trips it made or didn't make, and now, it's final resting place.  Winter sometimes does that to me -- makes me too introspective.

Anyway, I thought it was an interesting composition, and I have decided on my walks in the very mean weather of January and February to record the feelings and sights of winter.  So here is the first.

~Enjoy.

Female Nude Study

Study of female nude reclining, Conte on Gray Ingres paper, 12" x 16, 2016

The new year has started off quite robustly, as if shot out of a cannon!  The weather has been nice and mild (I don't want to jinx things here) so going to Bethlehem has not been odious, as the Blue Mountain is always that large, looming obstacle in the weather, and thankfully, we have seen no harsh conditions yet.  Yet.  Or maybe not this year.  It does happen once every few years: a mild, gentle winter.  We are definitely overdue!

I hadn't been to figure drawing in a while, just because I was busy, and time seems to slip away when you aren't paying that close of attention to it.  I had missed these drawing sessions, and hadn't realized how much, until I got there.  Now, the night before, I had precious little sleep (I have been wrestling with insomnia yet again), but I forced myself into that car with two large super-strong coffees and I was very happy that I did.  I like seeing familiar friendly faces and the camaraderie of the figure drawing group...it makes me feel very comfortable, like I am at home.  We all are so passionate about the same thing: the beauty of beauty.  Exploring the complexities of  anatomy and translating it into the second dimension. The rhythm and harmony of the human proportions. So that's a large part of things also.

I have a lot of different opportunities that have recently come at me, and it is a little overwhelming, since I was kind of on "coasting" mode.  I am trying to sort through them, in a studied, logical way, but I feel a slight feeling of uneasiness, and I get this sinking feeling sometimes that no matter how much thought you try to put into a decision, it's kind of going to go on it's own merry route, regardless of your attempt at planning.  Kind of like children!  So, I'm trying not to "overthink" things either.  Yes, as Anthony was saying to me, he has a feeling that 2016 is going to be a really good year filled with amazing opportunities and growth!  I agree. :-)

Impending storm

"Impending storm (over the harvested field)" oil on canvas, 8" x 11" by Hilary J. England

I motivated myself to photo up some of the work I did in autumn 2015 that I kind of just had piled up. I want to start 2016 right!  Everyone asks about New Year's resolutions, and I always say the same thing: I don't make them.  But, I do make a list of things I would like to improve or work on for the year, along with some concrete goals, and getting a bit more organized with my time is always my struggle, as is staying on top of tasks I loathe, such as photographing my work (as I have said over and over again).  I am looking to take the "bull by the horns" this year!

I will post them up as I get them recorded, and try to stay a bit more timely with it.  That is my ultimate goal for 2016.  That, and cutting back on sugar :-D

~Enjoy!

2015 wrap up

Study of female reclining, brown Conte on paper, 18" x 24", by Hilary J. England, 2015

I can't believe this year is already gone!  What a whirlwind it went by in - but as they say, the older you get, the faster time goes by...what an irony!

I have been very busy lately, but I am looking to continue many interesting things in 2016: traveling, continuing my painting series, continue my plein air paintings, continuing with my figure studies, and all of the other things I enjoy to do, such as forging silver jewelry, sculpting, writing freelance, and then there is my garden.  I didn't get to work on my garden these past few summers, since I was away overseas.  This year, I'm thinking of going away in September so that I can plant my garden and relax with it through the summer.  So, that's the tentative plan...end of summer for some more overseas work.

I have some shows I am putting together as well, with a possibility of the Armory in NYC, etc.  I haven't really expended a lot of effort toward NYC these days, since I had a lot on my plate with things going on in my personal life, but I think I may be ready with enough energy to engage in another New York show or two this upcoming year, so I am cautiously guarding my strength, haha.  Those shows do take tremendous energy, planning and commitment, so I am still mulling it over.  I have another day to make the decision, lolololol.  Talk about bringing it to the razor's edge ;-)

2015 was an eventful year-- it was a year fraught with change, and although it was ultimately for the good, it was still at times very stressful.  There were so many things that occurred this year, it allowed me to learn a lesson I have been grappling with all my life....just let it go.  Just let go, and go with the flow.  That was an extremely hard, if not nearly impossible task for me up till this point in my life, but something finally just broke, ultimately in a good way, as if watching a crack in a dam, and you just know it's beyond your control to stop that rushing water.  And so, I hope I can continue to not try to "take control" of the changes that are ultimately beyond my grasp.  I am a much more relaxed person for it!! But, as with everything, baby steps are involved.

So to you everyone, I want to wish a very healthy, happy, prosperous, peaceful yet exhilarating 2016!!!  All the best wishes and blessings <3

Barren birch in the autumn field

"Barren birch in the autumn field" by Hilary J. England
8" x 14", oil on canvas, 2015

It's been a busy week with Christmas approaching...putting up the tree and decorations, and all the other preps we usually make.  I have been working steadily on my writing as well, and this takes alot of time in itself.  I have three different articles going, while I also have my short story for the Travel Anthologie to clean up, so very busy indeed.

I can never NOT make time for my love though...which is plein air painting.  It just clears away all the wreckage, and helps to bring my soul back to balance.

This painting of a really beautiful, bare birch tree was a bit nail-biting in that it really looked like it was going to rain, and being that it had rained on and off for days now, I was racing the clock to not get soaked.  The weather held until I was done, and I was able to finish up, happy, warm, and with no wet feet.

~Enjoy!

Blueberry fields near winter

"Blueberry fields near winter" by Hilary J. England
8" x 10" oil on canvas, 2015

Here is a little landscape I did of a blueberry field, all red now with the approaching Winter, at the base of the Blue Mountains.  I go back to a lot of the same places, because I love them, and this spot is one of them...close to where I used to live.  Nice memories there I suppose.  It's like having a warm bowl of chicken soup...comfort food.  Deep inside, I guess I am a rank sentimentalist and romantic, but that's OK.  It makes life a more beautiful experience in the face of a broken, fallen world.

I have others I need photograph, but I have had a Mr. Magoo moment, and can't find the charger for my big camera, and the battery in the Canon is dead.  So, after ripping apart my studio, and every other place I can think of, I tried to recall places I might have absent-mindedly stuck that darn battery charger, and I keep coming up blank.  For all I know, I threw it away with my decimated suitcase when I came back from India....it is possible. So, now I will need to order a new one, and that will take at least a week, so I am a stick in the mud for right now: going nowhere fast haha.  I do have a little pocket camera which is decent, but it is too frustrating trying to see the image on that tiny screen, so I'll just wait.  Patience has never been my strong virtue, but I'll manage!

Enjoy~

Barcelona

"Barcelona/Rowdy with Gaudi" by Hilary J. England, 16" x 20" x 2" oil on canvas, 2015

I have finally finished "Barcelona."  It took longer than anticipated because my eyes have been giving me some troubles these last few weeks, and I tried to ignore it, but I guess I have to bite the bullet and make an appointment with the eye doctor.  I blamed the lighting, even my new brushes for the issues hahaha....because denial is not just a river in Egypt.  None of us likes to admit it when our faculties begin to weaken a little, and my eyes were always top notch, so this new development (well, actually not new, more like slow and creeping) was a bit alarming, but now that I have admitted it, I can move forward and correct it.  So, I should be sporting a new set of nifty glasses next week :-)

Photographing inside is usually the bane of my studio existence, and this time around, it was no different!  If the weather is better tomorrow I will photo this painting correctly.

I also have new landscapes that I also have been remiss in photographing, but I'll get to them tomorrow, or in the next few days as well.  The weather here has been raining steadily for the last few days, rather depressing, since I usually like the rain, but for some reason, it has gotten to me this time around, and I'm ready for some sunshine.  Seriously.

I am looking forward to doing some plein air work this weekend also...hopefully the weather will be more cooperative than it has been.  I think it will!  

~Enjoy!

In the shadow of the great tree

"In the shadow of the great tree" watercolor on paper, 11" x 16" 2015

The weather has been really beautiful these last few days, and hardly feels like Thanksgiving is approaching.  I have set out to work on some studio projects, in the anticipation of some not-so-nice-weather, but that has not been the case.  So, I figure I will post the last of my beautiful weather/San Fran trip studies today, and then continue in my studio for today.  The plan is to enjoy the next day of weather, and do a little local plein air work.

This study was in the shadow of the great tree.  It was so very majestic, that it still takes my breath away, being in God's cathedral.  What a truly magnificent and humbling experience.  I can see now where Gaudi derived his natural inspirations for the columns in La Sagrada Familia.  Just a stunning connection to me, as if a lightbulb went off in my head, and I had that true "a-ha" moment.  So very very lovely....

Redwoods and admirers

"Redwoods and admirers in Muir" watercolor on paper, 11" x 16", 2015

A relaxing day after a whirlwind of activity this last week, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  I can see the huge, benign, billowing clouds drifting by on the currents here, and Huntington is quiet.  It's nice we had a cloudy, "East-like" day here.  Keeps things real.  

Here is a watercolor study I did of some of the ravishing redwoods in Muir Woods.  Of course, you can never really do justice to such a majestic sight...cameras do even less, as I looked through my photos today and saw with much disappointment how the charged atmosphere that throbbed with life there was reduced to flat, almost mosaic-like tiles.  Frustrating, but the real deal is captured in my mind forever, so that's what counts.  A painting can make an attempt to bridge the gap between the real and the impressed...how it left an impression.  And it certainly did.  I do wish I had my oils, as watercolors are so, well, watery!  I find them frustrating mostly, and end up looking like a kid in preschool with paint all over my hands after swiping at them in an attempt to somehow make them more versatile like oils.  Laying in washes, lifting out color, dry brush work consisting of lots of stabbing, scribbing and angst....that's my watercoloring haha.  But, in all, it wasn't bad for a quick study, if I do say so myself.

Enjoy!  

San Fran

As much as I wanted to dislike San Francisco, I must say, I really enjoyed it.  I thought it would be a Lefty paradise, but I was pleasantly surprised, both by the very beautiful area, and the laid back people.  The city itself is at a pleasant pace, and minus some aggressive homeless people, it really is a very enjoyable city.  

Dale and I crammed in as much joie de vivre as we could in our small amount of time here, and as much as I loved the cultural activities such as visits to the local gallery scene, taking in some of the historical sites, etc., the crowning part of this trip was to Muir Woods, right outside of Sausalito, over the Golden Gate.  The redwood forest was so breathtaking, it stirred my soul so deeply, I never wanted to leave there.  It was as if one of those great, old, noble trees, with the nooks and crags and corridors, all of their mystery and magnitude, had a little doorway you could duck into, and be in the realm of elves and fairies, or cross over to some world like Narnia.  It was sublime.

All said, San Francisco seems a breezy town, large enough to rival Manhattan Island in it's sprawl, but minus the frenzy that seems to accompany NYC.  The city has a somewhat empty feel to it, and there is also an decent amount of empty storefronts throughout, along with the large homeless population that is not restricted to the mission, which gives it a somewhat forlorn feeling at times, of a city on the precipice of death, rather than one that is growing.  This city, seems to us, just at face value, a city that is surviving on tourism.  No one we met was a native.

Looking at the stats here, it's no wonder.  The city dwellers, by and large, can't afford to live here, and that puts many businesses under, due to out of control rents, and wage workers that can't afford to live in the city, or even near it, to fill the lower paying jobs.  Socialist policies versus capitalist corruption, and a magic elixir of disaster.  Very sad.

So, I was happy to have visited this very lovely city, and enjoyed the best of what it has to offer, the beautiful views, the easy pace, the yummy restaurants, and then, leave.  That's the best of all worlds!

Abandoned tracks in Pottsville

Abandoned train tracks in Pottsville, 11" x 14"' watercolor on paper

Here is a watercolor I did yesterday waiting for Noelle while in Pottsville. It was a beautiful day, such nice and gentle weather after the storms of the day before. I found these Abandoned tracks, and just did a rapid watercolor sketch, less than an hour, but a little Longer to pause and feel the sunshine on my face, the breeze in my hair, and smell the damp, earthy odor of the fallen leaves. How beautiful is this natural world, where the ethereal seems to cross over into our earthly plane, and the two intersect and meet every now and again. Those are the invigorating moments that make me so grateful...the beauty of God's blessings in such a wonderfully timeless yet mundane moment.